Be ready to go to hell

ARGUMENT

Lincoln--Better give your path to a dog than be bitten by him in contesting for the right .Even lulling the dog would not cure the bite


Have you ever made argument ? Surely ,all of us has done ? Have you ever won an argument? Have you ever lost the argument?

I donot know your experienc. Many times i have lost ,but winning was also not very pleasant .Personally, i  still remember the face of many  persons who lost the argument .And ironically ,that does not bloster my self esteem ,rather made me feel sad.It should not be . But that is reality .Perhaps saddening is due to association of saddened face of the loser .When i can not forget his saddened face ,how the loser can forget ? And that brings the issue of toxicity  of argument ,folly of argument .
YOU CAN NEVER WIN AN ARGUMENT----Dale Carnegie

Result of argument makes one inferior  and that  feeling is going to destroy  you in future .

Make an argument with prospective buyer ----be ready to lose the buyer.
Make an argument with the examiner ----be rady to fail
Make an argument with wife ---be ready to go to hell in this life .
Make an argument with your child ----be ready to face rebellion
Make an argument with the client ---be rady to lose the client

Make an argument with servant --be ready to do household works
Make an argument with boss--be ready to be fired up

 Argument and loss are like seamese twins ----cannot be seprated .Argument has positive feedback .Argument breeds argument.

By argumet you cannot change another 's mind

So donot have illusion---winning an argument is not winning at all.

According to Ben Franklin ---If you argue and rankle and contradict,you may achieve a victory sometimes ;but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent 'goodwill.
So what will you like ---academic ,thearetical victory or a person 's goodwill.

SO train yourself  to avoid verbal fights
HOW ?
1.First ,agree with the proposition ,continue to agree with proposition and continue to agree with propostion  till ---till the proposition itself losess significance for the proponent ----may take a minute ,hrs and even days.Is it losing ? No, you will become winner moment the proposition loses significance and then put your point .PATIENCE (yes, time dimention is important) and your time-being acquiescence  will make you winner.

2.Second ,if first appears difficult and against your knowledge ,against authority ,against self -esteem ,shut your mouth for time being.Silence makes many things agreeable and automatically weaken the strength of opponent's arguments

3.Third ,change the subject and give true and honest appreciation of the person whom you want to win over(appeal to importance of person and allow him to inflate his/her ego)

Long term maesures-----

1.Welcome the disagreement
2.distrust your first instinctive impression --Defense
3.control your temper
4.listen first
5.look for areas of agreement
6.be honest,admit error and apologize
7.promise to think over your opponents ideas and study them carfully
8.thank your opponents sincerely for their interest and try to make friend
9.postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem

BUDH ---Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love.